Hey guys, guess what? I went on three first dates this weekend (and not just because I’m like Drew Barrymore in that movie where she’s always going on first dates with this guy because she has short-term memory loss… never mind.) After a couple of months of doing the online thing, I’ve gone on more dates than I ever thought I would. I like meeting new people, at least that’s what I keep telling myself, and lately I’ve gotten a lot more lax about who I agree to meet. If a guy’s decent looking, appears to be able to hold a conversation, and we have some stuff in common, I’ll go for it.
Usually, I insist on meeting and talking over a cup of coffee (because I can hide behind it if things are awkward) or drinks (because I’m always less inhibited — and sometimes just straight up honest — when I’m tipsy), and that’s gone fairly well for me so far, although they’ve all had their awkward moments. Honestly, I’d never been on a first date that I deemed to be absolutely awful… until last night.
Date #3 in my three-date weekend extravaganza (I’m not blogging about #2, because he might actually have potential) involved pizza and a hockey game with a guy who lived an hour and a half away. We hadn’t actually talked all that much; come to think of it, we had exchanged maybe two quick messages, two awkward IM conversations, and texted a bit before meeting — so I like, didn’t know this guy at all. Red flag. Definite red flag. The game was at 7, so he picked me up at 4:30 for dinner. I don’t know if he was expecting that we’d take 2 hours to eat pizza or what, but we were definitely only there for an hour at best. On the way there, conversation was awkward and stifled, but I didn’t know the guy, so that was to be expected.
We got to the place for dinner and he immediately abandoned me for the restroom, leaving me standing in line for food with no idea what to order and other hungry people behind me. After ordering (he let me choose the pizza), we sat down and entered a whole new realm of awkwardness. He didn’t talk much and I didn’t talk much, but when I did he didn’t seem incredibly interested, and when he did, he didn’t have a lot to say. About anything. After an excruciating hour of eating (at least the pizza was good) and sort of talking, during which I kept drinking out of my empty-except-for-ice water glass, we left for the game.
We found our seats and sat down. He asked me about my favorite movie and I asked him about his. Then, he put his arm around me. I’m quite sure I looked visibly uncomfortable with one hand jammed in my sweatshirt pocket and the other by my face (I’m not even a nail biter, but this was clearly an exception) as I struggled to come up with things to talk about. Once the game started, I relaxed a little. He took his arm away, but then put it back. Just as an aside, I don’t understand hockey. So not only was I uncomfortable, but I was also bored out of my mind because the team wasn’t playing very well (they were 0-3 by the middle of the second period.) At one point, he tried to hold my hand, but I awkwardly put the kibosh on that. I apologized for not being a great conversationalist and told him I was tired, which he couldn’t understand because I “hadn’t done anything all day.”
After the second period, he asked if I wanted to leave. I didn’t want him to feel like he had wasted money on the tickets, so I waffled back and forth on the idea until he decided we could stay for a bit longer. I counted down the seconds on the time clock until he asked again if I wanted to leave. Seeing a possible escape route, I said sure. (Note: I’m pretty much a people pleaser, but if someone gives me an out for something I really don’t want to do, I’ll take it.) The drive back to my apartment was pretty quiet, although we somehow found a way to discuss the music that was playing. He parked, turned off the car, and after a long, awkward pause, suggested that we see if the coffee shop near my apartment was open, because he needed coffee for his long drive home. (Up until this point, I was nervous because I didn’t know whether he assumed he was staying over, as was suggested in a text message conversation a few days earlier.)
The coffee shop wasn’t open, and neither was another one just a few blocks away. We ended up going on a walk to loop back to my apartment, and when he walked me to my door, he gave me a hug and said “see you later.” I highly doubt that I will ever see him again.
And that is the story of how I absolutely bombed a first date.
- First Date Conversation Topics (thedatingpapers.com)
- How to Get Out of an Awkward or Uncomfortable Situation (Without Being an Asshole) [Video] (lifehacker.com)
- What To Do On A First Date (thedatingpapers.com)
- White girl problems is not what this is but I feel like there should be a similar trope for me somewhere. (unpackingbooksfromboxes.wordpress.com)
- First-Date Tips for Straight Guys (thoughtcatalog.com)