Whenever one of my best friends and I discuss our dating lives, we laugh about how we have the complete opposite taste in men. Her dates with her boyfriend involve fixing his car, going for rides on his tractor, and learning how to shoot his gun; I tend to go for guys who wear cardigans and sweaters, love coffee, and geek out over the latest tech. She dates guys who like to hunt, fish, and get dirty; I date boys that like cats, foreign films, and cuddling. I could go on, but you get the idea.
Last week, she wrote a guest post about why she wants a manly man (which was really quite amusing, actually, since a bunch of people initially thought I wrote it) so here is my response to that (which was in the works since I told her to write hers).
Why I Prefer Nerdy Men
Nerdy men know how to dress themselves. You won’t find them in ripped jeans or pit-stained graphic t-shirts (unless they’re the “still-live-with-my-mom” gamer type — in which case, ew), but instead in something actually decent looking. While I don’t usually go for guys who put in more effort than I do in the morning, I don’t mind it — in fact, I think that’s attractive. Suits, I mean. Not stains.
I don’t think “being manly” has anything to do with a guys’ ability in bed. I’m not one to kiss and tell, but let’s just say that I haven’t had anything to complain about thus far. The whole thing makes sense, if you think about it. I place a lot of importance on having things in common with the person I’m going out with. I don’t like hunting or fishing (hiking and camping are fun, though), and while I’m a bit of a thrill-seeker, it doesn’t mean I want to go four-wheeling with my guy on a back country road or shoot his gun. To each her own, I know, but just because my idea of a fun date is going out for coffee or cuddling on the couch watching SNL, it doesn’t make the guy I’m with any less of a man. I mean, he still has a penis and he still knows how to use it. What else do you need?
Everyone has their low points, but I don’t need my man to be a pillar of strength when I’m crumbling; I’ve got it all under control. Don’t get me wrong — if I’m going through some shit I want him to be there for me, but I am not the damsel in distress type. I think relationships work best when both people involved are his or her own, independent person that’s not interdependent on their significant other. And who cares if my guy’s emotional? Society dictates that men shouldn’t cry or show emotion, but I think that’s whack. Men shouldn’t be afraid of showing their feelings. As long as he’s not super clingy and crazy possessive, it’s all good with me. Just because I’m emotional doesn’t mean he needs to occasionally be an asshole to strike a balance; I’d rather he be empathetic to my emotional shit and not feel weird when I do the same for him.
And besides. I dated a guy in September who wore a newsboy cap all the time and had no problem with pushing me against the side of his car to make out with me. Just saying.