So, I finally told my boyfriend about my online dating blog.

Well, hello there! I haven’t been here in awhile — like 3 months awhile — but I hope you’ll forgive me. I never really thought about what I would do with this blog once I actually had success with online dating (perhaps because I never thought I’d actually have success?), but seeing as I refuse to write about my relationship (it’s all sappy shit anyway so you’d never put up with it) and could never come up with anything else to write about, abandonment seemed inevitable. This actually happens with all of my blogs. I might as well quit while I’m ahead.

Anyway. I tend to babble a lot right before we go to bed, which — as you might guess — leads to some pretty funny conversations. My boyfriend and I have absolutely no boundaries anymore, so I figured telling him about my blog was something that had to be done. I, of course, still wanting to protect some of my dignity, only told him that the blog existed and didn’t give him the name of it. I told him he could probably find it if he really wanted to, but let’s be real: I’ll probably just end up telling him what it is within the next week.

But this led me to thinking: how would someone find my blog? How have people found my blog? Well, thanks to the lovely WordPress stats, I have the answer. Here are my favorite search terms that have been used to find my blog since its conception. As someone who deals with SEO every day at work, I’ll probably get a lot more kicks out of this than you will.

1. “the snarky guide to dating” First of all, I love the word snarky. But according Firefox’s spell check, IT’S NOT EVEN A WORD. Unacceptable. Second of all, this is pretty relevant. I like. Search term relevance rating: 7
2. “chivalry isn’t dead but” …but what? Chivalry is not dead. End of story. Search term relevance rating: 4
3. “are diaries manly” Not really. Have a nice day, though. Search term relevance rating: 3. (Because the word diary is in my blog title, I’ll give them that at least.)
4. “text message can’t come out I’m washing my hair” … I can’t stop laughing. If people text you while you’re in the shower, THEY CAN WAIT FOR 5 MORE MINUTES UNTIL YOU GET OUT. DON’T RISK ELECTROCUTION, YOU DUMB HO. If his attention span is short or text messaging expectation is that you respond to his messages immediately, perhaps you should reconsider your life. Search term relevance: 0, but A for effort.

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