5 Unrealistic Things I Would Like For Christmas

While ignoring the rampant greediness and excessive consumerism that surrounds this now highly over-commercialized religious holiday (I saw a truck with a bumper sticker a few weeks ago that read: “Jesus is the reason for the season” and while I know that it’s a serious thing, I definitely snickered a little), I’m going to list a few things that I’d like for Christmas, but are indefinitely unattainable.

You know how money can’t buy happiness? Well, it certainly can’t buy these things either.

1. The ability to pull off a haircut like Ginnifer Goodwin in Once Upon a Time

She is seriously the cutest person ever. (Credit: imdb.com)

2. A highly successful blog that I can turn into a book someday so it only takes me 5 years (tops) to pay back my student loans

Note: I'm nowhere near as cool as this lady. (Credit: chromoz.com)

3. A job that’s all, “Sure! I’ll give you awesome health insurance and a salary, no problem!”

Or just to look like Joan Holloway (Christina Hendricks) from Mad Men, because apparently every man ever is obsessed with her. (Credit: moviemail-online.co.uk)

4. For leering 40-year-old men to not tap my ass when I go to the club

5. For the makers of Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve to make another ridiculous movie about an overly celebrated holiday (like Cinco de Mayo?)