Why I Want a Manly Man (Guest Post)

This guest post was written by one of my dear friends. You might recognize her as “Jess #2,” J-Person. You love me,” or Anonymous J-Person. You know who I am” in a few of the comments. And without further ado, why she wants a manly man.

Stains. Stains are so… sexy. Grass stains, pit stains, sock stains — anything but tooth stains, ew — are incredibly attractive on a man. Stains mean a man works hard, plays hard, and isn’t afraid of dirt. If a man is willing to get dirty on the job, he’ll be willing to get dirty and work hard elsewhere, if you know what I mean. And I think you do. Let’s face it, girls, that little non-meat-eating hipster emo boy isn’t going to be eating your meat anytime soon. It’s unsanitary.

Since I just made an awesome Tarzan reference, I’m going to make another one. Remember when Tarzan suddenly got all grown up while jumping among the crocodiles and shit in the piranha-infested waters? That, my friends, is when Tarzan became a man. Why’s that? Because he was playing with crocodiles and risking his damn life. I’m not saying that I’m looking for a Steve Irwin type to be my better half, but if my man is afraid of killing a spider… we’re going to have some problems. (Mostly because our house would be overrun with spiders and other creepy crawly things, but that’s something entirely different.)

Men need to act like men. It’s okay for manly men to think with their head sometimes, and I’m not talking about the one with their brain. Continue reading

I couldn’t make these up if I tried, so I took screenshots.


This gallery contains 7 photos.

Photographic proof that online dating can be successful… once you weed out these guys. What’s the most ridiculous message you’ve seen from a potential suitor online?

The Different Types of Online Daters, Part 1


Mr. Perfect On Paper But Not In Person

He’s articulate, witty, charming — and you have just about everything in common. In terms of match questions, you answered most of them exactly the same (except for a few irrelevant ones, like if they know the first name of every person they made out with). But since you’re attracted to more than just his personality, let’s be honest. He is smoking. Hot, that is.

Fast forward: You have excellent conversation, agree to meet in person (oh my god, people actually do that!) and hit it off extremely well. You go on a few dates, and things are going well until you either:

a) Tell him that you’re happy at any point.

b) Tell him (while not suggesting total exclusivity) that you’re not particularly interested in seeing anyone else.

c) Try to make plans with him. At all. Ever.

Suddenly, he stops returning your texts and doesn’t answer his phone. Wait, hold on. What happened? Turns out most men, in my recent experience, have some form of commitment issues that they’d (understandably) rather not tell you about right away, which they then end up using as an excuse (not understandably) to run away (literally) and never talk to you again. Cool. Men suck. Continue reading