When to Not Act Clingy and Emotional: A Quick Guide + A Story!

Guys, I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve been that girl. You know, the super clingy and emotional one. Everyone has at some point, even if you’re not willing to admit it. It happens to the best of us. I’m mostly a reformed clinger — I only get super crazy on occasion — so there’s this one thing I do that makes it somewhat okay: I generally keep it to myself. I know most of you are probably like, what’s the fun in being crazy emotional and super clingy if the guy you’re dating has no idea?

If you’re like me and freak out about the little stuff that really doesn’t matter, trust me. What he doesn’t know right now won’t hurt him, especially if you’ve only gone out a few times.

Regardless, my experiences with being clingy have left me somewhat jaded. When starting to date someone new, I make sure I keep my tendencies to cling in check (see: my general rules for texting men), and I absolutely do not put up with clingy-ness on their end. To be quite frank, I get annoyed when:

  • Someone texts me too much
  • Someone texts me more than three times in a row without a response
  • Someone reads too much into my text messages (or how long it takes me to respond between texts) and overreacts

Thus, I have composed a quick guide on the general situations in which it absolutely inappropriate to be clingy and emotional, as follows:

  • We have only been on two dates
  • I haven’t shown immense interest in you, held your hand, or kissed you
  • I have not texted you since we went out three days ago

Okay. It’s story time. Every guy from my 3 date weekend extravaganza is officially out of the running, which I could honestly care less about. I told my mom the basic premise of this story, and she informed me that the title of my book, which I will be writing, has to be “Gotta Kiss A Lot Of Frogs, I Guess” — the problem is that I haven’t even kissed any of these guys! My experiences have just been that awful that I haven’t even risked it.

Unfortunately, in this post we say goodbye to D (Date #2, who actually might have had some potential), who after 2 dates revealed that he was just a little bit crazy. My take on this whole situation: thankfully it happened sooner rather than later, and thankfully I didn’t have to have the “we’re not exclusive” talk with him — I’m sure he might have cried. Continue reading

Extremely Awkward and Highly Unimpressed: Not Just First Date Jitters

Hey guys, guess what? I went on three first dates this weekend (and not just because I’m like Drew Barrymore in that movie where she’s always going on first dates with this guy because she has short-term memory loss… never mind.) After a couple of months of doing the online thing, I’ve gone on more dates than I ever thought I would. I like meeting new people, at least that’s what I keep telling myself, and lately I’ve gotten a lot more lax about who I agree to meet. If a guy’s decent looking, appears to be able to hold a conversation, and we have some stuff in common, I’ll go for it.

Usually, I insist on meeting and talking over a cup of coffee (because I can hide behind it if things are awkward) or drinks (because I’m always less inhibited — and sometimes just straight up honest — when I’m tipsy), and that’s gone fairly well for me so far, although they’ve all had their awkward moments. Honestly, I’d never been on a first date that I deemed to be absolutely awful… until last night. Continue reading

I couldn’t make these up if I tried, so I took screenshots.

Gallery

This gallery contains 7 photos.

Photographic proof that online dating can be successful… once you weed out these guys. What’s the most ridiculous message you’ve seen from a potential suitor online?

A Small Rant About Texting

I’m not the biggest fan of texting. Usually, because guys either don’t text me enough or they text me too much (appropriate to make a Goldilocks joke about my texting expectations?) But right now, it’s because this conversation just happened:

Guy whose number I don’t have*: Hey, long time, no talk

Me: (panic panic panic who is that?)

Me: Sorry, who is this again? I don’t have your number in my phone :/ (Sideways frown will certainly indicate that I truly am sorry I have deleted whoever’s number this is!)

GWNIDH: Haha I figured, it’s one of the guys from OkCupid you talked to awhile back. I can stop texting you if you want.

Me: Yeah, that’s probably best. Sorry. (What I actually wanted to say: You’re kidding me, right? We haven’t spoken for a month and a half, you know that I deleted your number, and you still think I want you to text me? Jesus. Nope.)

*We messaged back and forth for a bit, and he was like text me and we can be friends! I was at a really low point in my dating life so I obliged, and then he proceeded to text me incessantly for days until I just started ignoring him. I’m serious, he was pestering the shit out of me. After a week of not speaking, I assumed he got the message and I eventually deleted his number.

Clearly, we’re not on the same page.

Also, I’ve gotten messages from people that are like “do you have a phone number?” and “can you text?”

My smart-ass responses:

1. Yes, I have a phone number. You could actually ask me for it instead of being passive aggressive about it because I hate when people are passive aggressive.

2. Yes, I am physically able to text. I don’t like it, but I am physically able to do so, although I’m not sure why you’re asking me this. Please elaborate further.

Most of these related articles aren’t actually related, either. They just look funny.

People in fairy tales don’t have online dating profiles (but hey, I’ll take any compliment I can get)

Just to forewarn you, I feel like a fair share of my posts on this blog are going to be about online dating. I firmly believe that with how much the Internet and social media has taken over the lives of countless twenty somethings, online dating is a perfectly reasonable way to meet people. I’ll be tackling the stigma in a slightly later post, because Glamour’s January issue already did, and if Glamour says something, you listen. (Well, if you’re a female twenty something, you listen.) Anyway. This post is actually going to take approximately five steps back in that regard.

A few days ago, I received a polite message from a user that shall remain nameless, in which he stated he would like to get to know me because he felt we shared the same interests. Being an open-minded individual, I looked at his profile. There was absolutely nothing there, so I decided to ignore the message. He messaged me a second time, describing his interests. Fair. Since I don’t spend all of my time on the site, I decided I would wait a day and message him back. Later that night, he messaged me again — he wanted to know if he had done anything wrong in his previous messages to figure out why I hadn’t responded to him. I acknowledged the message, logged off, and went to bed.

When I got home from work the next evening, I had a fourth message waiting for me. It was about the length of a book chapter, but here are some snippets so you’ll get the gist. Continue reading