Whenever one of my best friends and I discuss our dating lives, we laugh about how we have the complete opposite taste in men. Her dates with her boyfriend involve fixing his car, going for rides on his tractor, and learning how to shoot his gun; I tend to go for guys who wear cardigans and sweaters, love coffee, and geek out over the latest tech. She dates guys who like to hunt, fish, and get dirty; I date boys that like cats, foreign films, and cuddling. I could go on, but you get the idea.
This guest post was written by one of my dear friends. You might recognize her as “Jess #2,” J-Person. You love me,” or Anonymous J-Person. You know who I am” in a few of the comments. And without further ado, why she wants a manly man.
Stains. Stains are so… sexy. Grass stains, pit stains, sock stains — anything but tooth stains, ew — are incredibly attractive on a man. Stains mean a man works hard, plays hard, and isn’t afraid of dirt. If a man is willing to get dirty on the job, he’ll be willing to get dirty and work hard elsewhere, if you know what I mean. And I think you do. Let’s face it, girls, that little non-meat-eating hipster emo boy isn’t going to be eating your meat anytime soon. It’s unsanitary.
Since I just made an awesome Tarzan reference, I’m going to make another one. Remember when Tarzan suddenly got all grown up while jumping among the crocodiles and shit in the piranha-infested waters? That, my friends, is when Tarzan became a man. Why’s that? Because he was playing with crocodiles and risking his damn life. I’m not saying that I’m looking for a Steve Irwin type to be my better half, but if my man is afraid of killing a spider… we’re going to have some problems. (Mostly because our house would be overrun with spiders and other creepy crawly things, but that’s something entirely different.)
Men need to act like men. It’s okay for manly men to think with their head sometimes, and I’m not talking about the one with their brain. Continue reading →
Guys, I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve been that girl. You know, the super clingy and emotional one. Everyone has at some point, even if you’re not willing to admit it. It happens to the best of us. I’m mostly a reformed clinger — I only get super crazy on occasion — so there’s this one thing I do that makes it somewhat okay: I generally keep it to myself. I know most of you are probably like, what’s the fun in being crazy emotional and super clingy if the guy you’re dating has no idea?
If you’re like me and freak out about the little stuff that really doesn’t matter, trust me. What he doesn’t know right now won’t hurt him, especially if you’ve only gone out a few times.
Regardless, my experiences with being clingy have left me somewhat jaded. When starting to date someone new, I make sure I keep my tendencies to cling in check (see: my general rules for texting men), and I absolutely do not put up with clingy-ness on their end. To be quite frank, I get annoyed when:
Someone texts me too much
Someone texts me more than three times in a row without a response
Someone reads too much into my text messages (or how long it takes me to respond between texts) and overreacts
Thus, I have composed a quick guide on the general situations in which it absolutely inappropriate to be clingy and emotional, as follows:
We have only been on two dates
I haven’t shown immense interest in you, held your hand, or kissed you
I have not texted you since we went out three days ago
Okay. It’s story time. Every guy from my 3 date weekend extravaganza is officially out of the running, which I could honestly care less about. I told my mom the basic premise of this story, and she informed me that the title of my book, which I will be writing, has to be “Gotta Kiss A Lot Of Frogs, I Guess” — the problem is that I haven’t even kissed any of these guys! My experiences have just been that awful that I haven’t even risked it.
Unfortunately, in this post we say goodbye to D (Date #2, who actually might have had some potential), who after 2 dates revealed that he was just a little bit crazy. My take on this whole situation: thankfully it happened sooner rather than later, and thankfully I didn’t have to have the “we’re not exclusive” talk with him — I’m sure he might have cried. Continue reading →
Clingy girls were put to shame (myself included, yikes) when the movie He’s Just Not That Into You came out a few years ago. Thanks to the lovely Ginnifer Goodwin’s character in that movie (also hopefully thanks to obvious social cues), most girls understand that when a guy doesn’t text or call them back, it means they’re really not that interested.
Unfortunately, there is no such public manual for clueless dudes.
When I ignore text messages — and I really don’t do this all that often — it never sends the message that a dude should back off, because they keep texting me. Any self-respecting girl (hi, that’s me — hopefully you too) would not text a guy more than three times in a row without a response. Thus, it baffles me when my inbox from Date #3 (yes, awful date #3) looks like this:
Hey guys, guess what? I went on three first dates this weekend (and not just because I’m like Drew Barrymore in that movie where she’s always going on first dates with this guy because she has short-term memory loss… never mind.) After a couple of months of doing the online thing, I’ve gone on more dates than I ever thought I would. I like meeting new people, at least that’s what I keep telling myself, and lately I’ve gotten a lot more lax about who I agree to meet. If a guy’s decent looking, appears to be able to hold a conversation, and we have some stuff in common, I’ll go for it.
Usually, I insist on meeting and talking over a cup of coffee (because I can hide behind it if things are awkward) or drinks (because I’m always less inhibited — and sometimes just straight up honest — when I’m tipsy), and that’s gone fairly well for me so far, although they’ve all had their awkward moments. Honestly, I’d never been on a first date that I deemed to be absolutely awful… until last night. Continue reading →