How to Completely Half-Ass an Important Conversation

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As many of you might have guessed from my last post, I had recently been contemplating making things official with the guy I’ve been dating for the past month or so. (Woah, exciting!) As a bit of a recap, over the course of the past five months I’ve gone from being depressingly single after being abandoned without explanation to going on three dates with three different guys in a single weekend to becoming happily monogamous with someone I really like. That seems like a natural-ish progression of events, I suppose.

Anyway, that’s not really my point here. My point is that for the past week or so, I’d been thinking about the inevitable conversation that I would have to initiate in order to state my intentions that I had no desire to see anyone else and how I hoped that he didn’t either.

That’s kind of a difficult conversation, especially if:

  • You’re the type of person who gets nervous or anxious about simple things, such as scheduling a doctor’s appointment over the phone or not submitting your taxes properly.
  • You’ve already talked about the elephant in the room: why you’re both online dating, the craziest online date you’ve been on, how many relationships you’ve been in, etc.
  • It appears from every angle (how much time you spend together or how “dates” have smoothly transitioned into “hanging out and staying over”)  that no conversation is needed, despite the presence of social norms which allow you to see other people until you’ve strictly made it official.

I think I go against the grain in that once I go on a few dates with a guy I like, I don’t actively try to see or meet other people, in the hopes that dates will transition into a relationship. If I wanted to pursue other options, I would — but I never do.

I thought about ways I could begin the conversation (“So, I was thinking about deleting my OkCupid account…” or “I’ve been assuming we’re exclusive, I hope I’m right…?”), mulled the details of the situation over and over (and over) again, picked friends’ brains about what I should do, agonized and made myself nervous, and last night finally decided to man up and do it. Continue reading

Things That Happen When You Start Dating Someone You Actually Like

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So, confession. There’s this guy (yeah, I know right?) I started talking to him a few weeks ago and I’m finding that I like him quite a bit. He took me out for dinner two weeks ago, and then again for drinks on Valentine’s Day. On Friday, we watched movies and drank wine at his place, and the next night we cuddled and watched SNL. Last night, we cooked homemade tomato sauce and pasta. He is educated, chivalrous, nice, attractive, nerdy, good at conversation, and currently defying all of my expectations for meeting someone on the Internet. Seriously.

As a result of meeting and starting to get to know him for the past two weeks, here are some recent trends that I’ve noticed in my life:

  1. I’ve stopped logging on to OkCupid, which means I have very little to blog about unless I actually try to think of good topics — which I haven’t been doing
  2. I’ve started paying more attention to my phone and less attention to my blog stats
  3. My cat is grumpier and more senile than ever, probably because I’m never in my apartment anymore
  4. I often find myself with a huge grin on my face at the most random times of the day
  5. Every cute song ever written by anyone suddenly applies to my life

Lessons Learned Today:

  • Dating can be fun, when it’s with someone you can actually tolerate have a ton of things in common with and really enjoy being around
  • My odds for finding something legitimate on an online dating site are currently: 1/11

Extremely Awkward and Highly Unimpressed: Not Just First Date Jitters

Hey guys, guess what? I went on three first dates this weekend (and not just because I’m like Drew Barrymore in that movie where she’s always going on first dates with this guy because she has short-term memory loss… never mind.) After a couple of months of doing the online thing, I’ve gone on more dates than I ever thought I would. I like meeting new people, at least that’s what I keep telling myself, and lately I’ve gotten a lot more lax about who I agree to meet. If a guy’s decent looking, appears to be able to hold a conversation, and we have some stuff in common, I’ll go for it.

Usually, I insist on meeting and talking over a cup of coffee (because I can hide behind it if things are awkward) or drinks (because I’m always less inhibited — and sometimes just straight up honest — when I’m tipsy), and that’s gone fairly well for me so far, although they’ve all had their awkward moments. Honestly, I’d never been on a first date that I deemed to be absolutely awful… until last night. Continue reading

3 Days, 3 Dates, 3 Dudes. Or as I like to say, efficient.

Admittedly, I’m somewhat of an online dating whore. I don’t do this on purpose. I mean, I haven’t even been doing this for that long (October, guys). The first couple of weeks everyone was interested in me, and rightfully so, dammit! I’m considered awesome in the world of online dating, and by that I mean I’m not fat, divorced with a kid, a chain smoker who works at a gas station, or need to be committed to a mental hospital because I’m super cray cray. Guys should be flocking to me, just sayin’. But lately, I’ve hit a bit of a dry spell — the only messages I’ve been getting as of late are from 25-year-old men who probably flunked the 9th grade and flaunt their tractor-driving skills on their profile. (Guess where I live. Just do it.)

Whenever I find myself in an online dating dry spell, I tend to message quite a few more people than I normally would, just to raise my odds of actually meeting someone normal. And that’s how I got around to scheduling 3 dates with 3 different guys—all in one weekend. Continue reading

I couldn’t make these up if I tried, so I took screenshots.

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This gallery contains 7 photos.

Photographic proof that online dating can be successful… once you weed out these guys. What’s the most ridiculous message you’ve seen from a potential suitor online?