A Small Rant About Texting

I’m not the biggest fan of texting. Usually, because guys either don’t text me enough or they text me too much (appropriate to make a Goldilocks joke about my texting expectations?) But right now, it’s because this conversation just happened:

Guy whose number I don’t have*: Hey, long time, no talk

Me: (panic panic panic who is that?)

Me: Sorry, who is this again? I don’t have your number in my phone :/ (Sideways frown will certainly indicate that I truly am sorry I have deleted whoever’s number this is!)

GWNIDH: Haha I figured, it’s one of the guys from OkCupid you talked to awhile back. I can stop texting you if you want.

Me: Yeah, that’s probably best. Sorry. (What I actually wanted to say: You’re kidding me, right? We haven’t spoken for a month and a half, you know that I deleted your number, and you still think I want you to text me? Jesus. Nope.)

*We messaged back and forth for a bit, and he was like text me and we can be friends! I was at a really low point in my dating life so I obliged, and then he proceeded to text me incessantly for days until I just started ignoring him. I’m serious, he was pestering the shit out of me. After a week of not speaking, I assumed he got the message and I eventually deleted his number.

Clearly, we’re not on the same page.

Also, I’ve gotten messages from people that are like “do you have a phone number?” and “can you text?”

My smart-ass responses:

1. Yes, I have a phone number. You could actually ask me for it instead of being passive aggressive about it because I hate when people are passive aggressive.

2. Yes, I am physically able to text. I don’t like it, but I am physically able to do so, although I’m not sure why you’re asking me this. Please elaborate further.

Most of these related articles aren’t actually related, either. They just look funny.